Superstition, predictions, horoscopes and more!

I really wasn't feeling up to posting anything this cycle, besides the stress from work at this time of year, family issues and more, our TTC journey hit another bump.

As a combination of all those factors, we only managed to dtd once during 'Baby Week' the day before I think I was due to O. I was just about ready to count myself out for this cycle, hubby just wasn't interested, and then out of nowhere...

So I was at school thinking about how that might change our chances for this month, would it change if I o'd later than I thought, etc. I was on duty at lunch time when one of my students rushed up to me, threw his arms around my tummy and shouted "Mrs Williams is pregnant!" I think he was just referring to the fact that he was hanging on to the front of my like a baby - but he has been known to say strangely accurate things in the past! He also asked me a couple of months ago if I had any children. When I said no, he said, "but you will this year." Strange!

It got me thinking that there was an outside chance for a 'one hit wonder' and all the stories I have heard, and read on TTC boards about people who have been told they were pregnant before they even knew it themselves.

I have written before about the superstitions surrounding TTC and pregnancy. That hasn't stopped me from eagerly reading every story like this I can find and even looking at the Chinese gender prediction calendars each month!

So what other stories of predicted pregnancies have you heard? Share in the comments!

What's a man to do?

Whether it is men or women, I really hate the generalising that goes on regarding the sexes.

I used to work with my hubby, and whenever I talk about it now, how much I miss it, women say to me, "How could you STAND it? I need my time at work to be away from him!" When we did work together, the girls there, and the women I now work with, consistently complain about their other half and their inability to do anything right. Or on time. Or to the required standard. My hubby is no angel, and there are plenty of things we disagree on or that I wish he would do differently - but I'm not going to whinge about it to a co worker!

When it comes to trying to conceive the generalisations start again. Women are 'baby obsessed' and men are supposedly happy about the regular sex as long as they don't have to know when or why.

I have had enough heartache in my life due to generalisations about men. I didn't marry one of those mythical creatures who want sex every minute of the day, who think about it every 7 seconds, or who put the sexual needs and pleasure of their partner first. It took me a long time to realise that it wasn't because something was wrong with me, or with him. It's just the way he is.

So when it came to TTC, I was really stuck. I knew that the increased frequency would be our first issue. It still is to some extent. I was, and still am, unsure about how much info to give him, and advice varies, but the general wisdom seems to be that the less they know about it the better.

I can't even comment on what it must be like for a sexually active man to think he has the green light for unlimited sex with his partner while TTC, only to be told that it has to be on this day at this time. I can relate to the woman who wishes for unlimited sex, knows that her chances are slim, and has to decide between just trying to get her partner in the mood - or telling him that being in the mood right now is really important! I can comment on the hubby who has little interest in sex, due to work, stress and other reasons, and sees it as perfectly acceptable to turn his wife down repeatedly, and tells her that sex for any reason, let alone TTC, is too much pressure.

I was recently reading an article about "The man's role when TTC" and it got me really angry. I understand from reading his other posts that this man has had a tough time of the TTC journey with his wife, but some of the generalisations made in the article were just too much for me. His 'advice' basically boils down to not including your man in the process at all and 'putting on that sexy little number' to get him in the mood. The whole article seems to imply that men are fragile creatures who can't bear to have to think about or consider anything besides being desired for sex. Is that really how it is? I am certain, from experience, that if I took that path I would never have sex with my hubby again, let alone fall pregnant.

So what do we do? How much do I tell? What do I say? Well, that's something I am still waiting to figure out...

When Nothing Goes To Plan...

It was another one of those months.

We had carefully planned out our schedule. We had an agreed timeline. Then hubby's work threw us a curve ball, a six day roster during our 'Baby Week' - bummer. he assured me it wouldn't have any impact, I told him I thought otherwise. In the end, all that mattered was we didn't manage to dtd even once in that week. We tried to make up for it on the weekend, on the off chance I might have ovulated late. Turns out even that was wrong as AF arrived 3 days early.

That in itself was an unpleasant surprise. I had noticed super light spotting 6 days before AF was due. Still there the next morning, but not even enough for a liner. Thought it may be AF arriving early but when the spotting carried on the next morning, I thought it could be that elusive implantation spotting. I have never, ever, had spotting for 3 days before AF. But now I have, so I seem to have even less idea about what my body is doing than I did before!

It also means that my last cycles have been 33, 36, 33 and 30. This is making it tricky to predict possible ovulation dates. My current app uses all past cycles to give a fairly wide fertile window. Hubby and I are pretty committed to dtd every 2-3 days, so this isn't much of a concern, but we like to be extra sure, and try for an extra session or two, during that time. After reading the experiences and the advice of the lovely ladies on the TTC #1 forum on Essential Baby I am considering starting temping or using OPKs. I don't think either will really suit my lifestyle though! I never sleep through the night, so from what I have read and understand temping wont be very accurate or useful. As for OPKs, many seem to need to be done in the afternoon, and as a teacher I rarely get to the bathroom during the day. One helpful member did mention that she uses them between 5-5.30, that's the kind of time I would be looking at, too.

We are only into our fourth cycle, and I am trying to keep in mind the couples I know who have been trying for much longer. At the same time, many of them are younger and while they keep saying that they have time to wait, I'm really struggling with the feeling that I am running out of time. My next AF should be due around the end of the school holidays. I am thinking of making a doctor's appointment for that time, either for pregnancy bloods, if we should be so lucky, or to talk about other options.

In the meantime, I would love any hints or tips that others have used to pin down that elusive egg - any sharing would be happily welcomed! =]