Wednesday 8 July 2015

Nothing but waiting...



AF took 7 days longer than normal to arrive. A 38 day cycle and I tested almost every day. By the time I was 4 days late and still getting those BFNs I pretty much gave up hope of actually being pregnant and just waited for AF to arrive. It HAS to be the metformin, there's no other explanation. I started spotting at cd36, then nothing cd37... even today when I say AF is here, it's still so light. Maybe I have just forgotten what a normal period feels like, as I have no cramping or anything.

I'm just so upset that I didn't see this coming. I haven't used OPKs for months as my cycle has been so regular, and now I feel like I am starting all over again. The only possible plus to this is that hubby is due to start two weeks leave shortly and, if my cycle returns to normal, that'll be right during the fertile window. He's already indicated that he's hoping to 'get in a few extra tries' so we'll see what happens.

There are so many more things I want to write but I am becoming so conscious of being a grump about all of this. I know that I have changed as a person as a result of our losses, and some of those changes are good. I also know that there are some I have yet to come to terms with, including the friends and family that haven't been supportive of us and I am really struggling to reconcile with what that means for us and our relationships with these people going forward. So many issues to sort through. Looks like we have plenty more time!

Wednesday 1 July 2015

And now for something completely different...

I am sitting here trying not to think about being pregnant. I am officially 1 day late, which never happens, and the line on the HPT was probably an evap as I accidentally fell back to sleep (I can barely hold my pee for longer than 2 hours, so I took it when I got up in the middle of the night). It was so super faint that it probably wasn't even there. But... I have no AF symptoms, and lots of EPS and I am just willing myself to believe that it is just the metformin messing up my cycle.



But all this not thinking reminded me of a little incident when out shopping with hubby on the weekend and I thought I would share. We were on our way home and he asked if we needed to do anything else, so I said, "We could stop at the supermarket for an HPT." He gave me a blank look, "What?" So I said, "We could stop and buy an HPT so I can POAS to see if we have a BPF and I can forget about this TWW." He looked totally confused, so I explained, he nodded and then said, "How do you remember all that so quickly?" Quickly? I've been living in this world for months!